We often tell women to “be authentic” at work. To speak up. To take a stand. To bring their full selves into the room. On the surface, this feels progressive and empowering. Yet many women leaders know the uncomfortable truth: authenticity can be risky.
Taking a fierce stand for what’s right can cost you. Asking the hard question can shift how you’re perceived. Naming a systemic issue can quietly slow your progression. While authenticity is positioned as the path to influence, the reality is more complicated.
This tension is what we call the authenticity trap.
The authenticity trap emerges when women are encouraged to be themselves, then penalised for embodying those qualities.
If a woman stays quiet, she may be told she lacks confidence. If she speaks directly, she risks being labelled as too much, too emotional, too aggressive, or not a team player.
The standard shifts depending on the room, the power dynamics, and who is listening. Over time, this creates a confusing and exhausting paradox: be confident, but not too confident. Be assertive, but not intimidating. Be authentic, but only within invisible boundaries.
It is easy, in this environment, to internalise the tension. Many women begin to believe the issue is personal. Perhaps I need more confidence. Perhaps I need to adjust my tone. Perhaps I’m the problem.
But often, what we are witnessing is not a confidence issue, it is a context issue.
Confidence thrives in environments of belonging and psychological safety. It shrinks in environments of scrutiny and inconsistent standards.
Understanding this distinction is important. It allows women to stop over-correcting themselves and start examining the system around them.
This is where the idea of “just be yourself” becomes overly simplistic. Authenticity does not mean saying everything you think without filter. It does not mean ignoring the political and relational dynamics of the system you are operating in. And it certainly does not mean placing yourself at unnecessary risk in the name of honesty.
Authentic leadership requires discernment.
Discernment to assess the safety of the space, understand the impact you want to have, and choose your approach with intention rather than reaction. Authenticity without discernment can leave you exposed. Authenticity with alignment becomes powerful.
Practising discernment requires a strong internal compass. When you know who you are, what you stand for and what kind of leader you want to be, you are less destabilised by shifting external expectations.
From that place of clarity, you can make intentional choices about how to express yourself within a given context:
Knowing yourself and your values helps you make clearer decisions about where to invest your energy, where to draw boundaries. It empowers you to lead with clarity and choice.
While self-awareness and discernment are important tools to help women navigate the reality of the authenticity trap, it’s not up to them to solve it. Nor should it be.
Organisations and senior leaders must also examine the environments they are creating.
The authenticity trap becomes starkest when power actively undermines women’s voices. Many organisations speak openly about wanting courageous conversations, diverse perspectives, and bold leadership. Yet when a woman challenges a decision or surfaces a difficult truth, feedback can suddenly shift toward personality or tone.
The conversation moves away from the substance of what was said and toward how it was delivered. In some cases, the consequences are subtle but real: exclusion from key conversations, reduced sponsorship, or stalled advancement.
The message becomes we value your voice, as long as it doesn’t disrupt too much.
If a company claims to value authenticity and inclusion, there are baseline expectations that should follow:
Women should not have to perform a narrow version of confidence in order to belong. They should be able to lead with clarity and conviction without being penalised for it.
The authenticity trap sits at the intersection of identity and power. Women are encouraged to bring their full selves to work, yet often punished when that full self challenges the status quo.
The way forward is twofold:
At Global Warriors, we believe empowering women is not about teaching them to perform confidence more convincingly. It is about helping them know themselves deeply enough to lead with alignment, clarity, and choice.
When authenticity is rooted in self-awareness, expressed with discernment, and supported by systems that truly value diverse leadership, it stops being a trap and becomes a source of real power.
If you’re ready to strengthen that inner compass, or to build a culture where women can lead without compromise, explore our women’s development programmes.